Miracle of Mixed Nuts (Previously Unpublished)

Found Feb 2020

The Miracle of Mixed Nuts

A Homer’s Point of View.

The miracle of mixed nuts.

I hijacked a dish of mixed nuts the other day and they turned out to be truly wonderful.  It wasn’t just peanuts or just almonds, or just brazil nuts or pecans; it was an amalgam of all of the flavors that a nut-lover would savor.  I’m not a common thief; I’m merely an opportunist.  I choose my targets of opportunity carefully, and there will always be a doubt as to exactly what happened to them – or when.

I just couldn’t resist, they had been sitting out on a coffee table in Isabel’s small sitting room since 11:30 a.m. and, opportunist that I am, they became collateral damage to my greed, voracious appetite, and lack of self-discipline.

But did you ever realize what a miracle a can of mixed nuts represents?  You casually pop the top of the can and hear the woosh of air rushing in to fill the vacuum.  “Nothing very unusual here,” you say.  Nothing unusual? Are you kidding?

We live in the age of specialties and specifics; the generalist is the Edsel of yesterday.  Yet we ask for and demand variety in many of our pursuits, and, because we are a trade partner with many foreign countries, we habitually enjoy exotic foods from around the world right here in small-town America.

If you were in control of one of the new satellites, and could zoom in on the earth miles below, you might become aware of the magic of your evolution.

Small town, small county, agrarian state, in huge north America

Nine different kinds of nuts from 9 different nations.

  1. Brazil nuts.  Brazil
  2. Cashew nuts.  Kenya, Gambia
  3. Peanuts.    Georgia, Virginia, N. Carolina Texas
  4. Walnuts.   California
  5. Pecans.     Georgia Florida Texas Oklahoma New Mexico Alabama Mississippi
  6. Almonds.  San joquim Valley, CA
  7. Macademia nuts.  Grown in Hawaii
  8. Hazel nuts. Oregon
  9. Pistaccio nuts.  California, Arizona, Australia

Nuts from the following countries.   Many (peanuts) nuts from GA of course

Represent the diversity of our population, our dependence on free trade, our desire for diversity and variety.

My favorite nut is . . .the nut closest to the edge of the tangle or the nut bowl. I don’t actually discriminate but I do prefer salt on them.

I can open a peanut in the shell faster than “ugly on a gorilla.”